Off my mind

Went to see the "neurologist"

no help at all.

She said she would go over the whole EEG thing and call us back...............................still waiting on that one

Emily is sick...some sort of thyroid problem. So I'm giving her pills every day to try and make her better...I'm not seeing any difference though. She is getting better at taking them though...she doesn't seem to mind so much anymore.

Got myself a little christmas tree and decorated it...that made me feel a little better. It's interesting though...going through this season every year...one that's supposed to be all about "family" and not having a family that I fit into...floating through it by myself joining others and their families when I have the chance.

Although my mom would insist that I'm a part of her family here at home, 99% of the time it doesn't feel that way...and forget about my "father" being considered family...unless spending time with "family" is whenever he has the time free in his schedule to think about calling me. Didn't even call to say happy thanksgiving yesterday.

Having no external support system is interesting...which is why I think I like being alone so much...gives me, myself and I time to think things over, work through problems. I do wonder sometimes what it would be like to have someone to share things with.

Call me Seizure Sally...

It was like being on a game show when I found out...she called with one of those "CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU"VE JUST WON!!!!" voices, and told me that I was having seizures...hope you have a nice day...click

Really, really helpful...lemme tell ya.

So pretty much all of my information on seizures and what's happening to me has come from my digging on the good ol' world wide web...which really, isn't that helpful.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and I have no idea what the hell is going on...unbelievably frustrating...yeah.

So here I am, all alone trying to figure stuff out, while attempting to be "normal" while worrying about not taking medication, someone trying to take driving (the only thing that keeps me sane) away from me, and dealing with whatever THIS is on a day to day basis...

I feel fine...and I don't see things specifically affect me...and I don't really want to go see a doctor who'll just make it worse with all his random thoughts about something that he's never even expierienced.

But I really don't think anything's wrong with me...other than seeing crazy shit sometimes, and spacing out.

I just wish I had never had any of these tests done...can we take them all back?